Sleeping Dog Blog

It’s not every day you get to speak to a prophet. Most of them are too dead—or at least too busy—to chat about their respective religions with a reporter from an online magazine. But Bobby Henderson, a 24-year-old out-of-work physics major, is not your typical prophet, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to spread the Word at a time when his faith is under attack.

Recently, a ploy to take the public’s attention away from the truth and focus it on a mythical theoretical debate has been cleverly crafted and successfully implemented by the United States government. The so-called debate about how we came to be, whether through Darwin’s theory of evolution or via Intelligent Design, is merely an elaborate guise to stifle the growing voices and eminent truths behind the real reason we exist: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Henderson knows—he was touched by FSM's Noodly Appendage and anointed to spread the good word.

Henderson first shared the beliefs behind FSMism in an open letter to the Kansas School Board. He explained that the main tenets of the religion include the creation of the universe by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), the “evidence” for evolution put in place by His Noodly Appendage (to fool non-believers), and the mandatory pirate regalia for worship. As evidence of the power of the Creator, Henderson put forward a graph showing a statistically significant inverse relationship between the number of pirates in existence and global temperature. True FSM believers end prayers with “rAmen” and celebrate several holidays, including Pastaover, which celebrates the night that the Flying Spaghetti Monster flew over the city, looking for the houses that had marinara sauce splashed upon the doorposts.